Adam's Song
by Duo-chan
Summary: A songfic with Adam's Song by Blink182. Sad, angst, death, Heero leaves Duo. Takes place during Endless Watlz. Oneshot


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters. This story is simply a fanfiction.  
  
  
Adam's Song  
  
  
~*Just a precausion* This song was written for one meaning. This meaning leads to one thing that I would never in my life ever do.~  
  
He had never thought of doing it before. The thought had never struck him as possibly going through with it. But now, now it all seemed so possible, so close. It was the only way.  
  
/He left me./  
  
/Find him, he'll come back./  
  
/He didn't want me any more! He left me and went to.../  
  
/He'll come back./  
  
/No he won't, he'll never come back. He left and that's the way it is./  
  
~This can only be expressed through one word. Suicide...~  
  
The pilot's hand tighten around the self destruction button till his knuckles were white.  
  
/It's the only way to end it./  
  
~I never thought I'd die alone. I laughed the loudest who'd have known.   
I traced the cord back to the wall. no wonder it was never plugged in at all.~  
  
*flashback*  
  
It was an 'End of the War' reuniun and they were all there, it was amazing, all five of them together again. It had seemed like so long since he had seen all of them: Quatre and Trowa, Wufei, and of course...Heero. The braied boy rushed over to the Arabian pilot and immediately started asking him questions about how him and Trowa were doing. Even though the war was over he still had a mission; Stay as far from Heero as possible and don't let the others notice.  
  
"I'm sorry Duo," the blond said sighed sorrowfully.  
  
"Sorry 'bout what Q-man?" The braied boy asked cheerfully.  
  
Quatre sighed again. "You know, the break up. I know how sad you must be."  
  
"Me?" Duo laughed, pointing to himself. "Me being sad?" More laughter. "None sence Q! I think you might have been in that bed with Tro a few too many times!"  
  
The blond blushed and smiled slightly. "You're really okay? You don't want to come stay with Trowa and me?"  
  
"Why would I? I'm doing fine. Besides, you and Trowa have your own life together."  
  
- - -  
  
Duo sat at the dinning room table swinging back his glasses of wine a little too fast, laughing a little too loud, trying a little too hard to get drunk. The others knew what was the matter but nobody said anything about it. They all kept their mouths shut and let the braided boy do his own thing. But they were all there: Quatre, Trowa, and even Wufei, if he needed somebody to break out on, needed a shoulder to cry on.  
  
*end of flashback*  
  
~I took my time, I hurried up. The choice was mine I didn't think enough. I'm too depressed to go on. You'll be sorry when I'm gone.~  
  
The war had ended and now there were these people who were still trying to take over the world. The Gundam pilots had all gotten their Gundams back though and had started to fight battles. He was in a battle now.   
  
/I can kill two birds with one stone./  
  
/One of those birds is you./  
  
/I don't care. He left. There's no reason to go on. I'm alone./  
  
Alone...yes, he was totally and utterly alone now. Heero was gone; his reason for living was gone; his heart and soul had shattered and was now gone along with everything else. He was alone in the world and was about to die.  
  
/The choice is only mine, nobody else is here./  
  
Depression flowed through Duo's veins and his heart almost depended on it as much to beat as it did with the red fluid.  
  
/He wasn't even sorry when he left me. He didn't even say good-bye./  
  
His finger start to press down on the button.  
  
/He'll be sorry./  
  
~I never conquered, rarely came. 16 just held such such better days. Days when I still felt alive. We couldn't wait to get outside. The world was wide, too late to try. The tour was over i'd survived.~  
  
/It was so much easier during the first war. When we were younger...when he cared./  
  
/Did he ever care?/  
  
/When we were six-teen.../  
  
*flashback*  
  
Duo cut through the last of the Libras. "So Hee-chan, how did I do?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I know you love me!"  
  
Heero smiled slightly and turned Wing towards home. The braided boy followed his lover's example and they jetted off together.  
  
- - -  
  
Duo ran through the field laughing so hard that his stomach was starting to hurt. Suddenly something hit him in the back and the braided boy fell forward onto the soft dirt, Heero on top of him.  
  
"You can't get away from me that easily!" Heero smirked and leaned down to kiss the other boy.  
  
*end of flashback*  
  
/I survived the war for nothing. Nothing.../  
  
~I can't wait till I got home. To pass the time in my room alone. I never thought i'd die alone. Another six months I'll be unknown.~  
  
/I survived for nothing./   
  
Duo's finger continues it's slow pushing on the destruction button.  
  
/I want to be at home, where I can cry./  
  
/Boys don't cry./  
  
/I'm alone. I always thought that we'd be together forever. I never thought that I'd be going home alone. Death...my home./  
  
A tear starts to trickle down Duo's face.  
  
/Boys don't cry./  
  
/When I'm gone nobody'll care. Nobody will remember me. I'm just another soldier. Another lone soldier./  
  
More tears. The button is about to click.  
  
/Boys don't cry./  
  
A tighter grasp on the button.  
  
/Forgive me Quatre, my dearest friend. Forgive and forget./  
  
~Give all my things to all my friends. you'll never set foot in my room again. You'll close it off, board it up. remember the time that I spilled the cup. Of apple juice in the hall. Please tell mom this is not her fault.~  
  
Duo smiles as he thinks of everybody one last time. All of them together. Quatre with Trowa living together in one of the blond's huge houses. Wufei with Sally, together in harmony. Then there was Heero, Heero with...  
  
/I can't even believe that he left me for her./  
  
Heero with Relena. Duo's fist clenches around the button almost impossibly tight as he thinks of everybody forgetting about him, even Quatre. He can imagine them cleaning out his room.  
  
*thought*  
  
"Wow, I didn't know that he lived this way," Quatre would say as he looks around the pig-sty of an apartment where Duo use to live and had lived with Heero.  
  
"He drank a lot more than he use to," Wufei would observe at the beer bottles all around.  
  
"...I didn't know that Duo could turn out this way..." Quatre would sob. Then he would find the picture by my bed. "He really loved him. Even after he was gone." It was a picture of Heero and I together. Heero standing there and I was standing behind him, my arms draped over his shoulders, a wild grin on my face, a small soft one on Heero's. "I'd never seen Heero smile before Duo."  
  
"Why did he leave?" Trowa would ask and everybody would turn to look at each other, it would be the first time that the question came to their minds.  
  
"I don't know..." The blond would trail off.  
  
Wufei would probably be the one to look in the garbage can. "You guys." The others would come over as he was dumping the contents out, torn up pictures of Relena would be everywhere.  
  
"Oh my God!" Quatre would gasp, tears flowing down his face.  
  
*end of thought*  
  
/Quatre...I know that you're going to blame yourself for not knowing. Don't though. It's the only way. I can't go on living./  
  
~I never conquered, rarely came. But tomorrow holds such better day. Days when I still feel alive. When I can't wait to get outside. The world is wide, the time goes by. The tour is over, I've survived.~  
  
/You were always the one to do these suicide things, even when you had me./  
  
Duo pushes the button as memories of his and Heero run through his mind. Pictures from the past, video's from the past, memories...from the past.  
  
~I can't wait till I get home. To pass the time in my room alone.~  
  
*****   
  
"NOOOO!!!" Heero as a huge explosion shows fire works ahead of him and the beeping of Deathscythe's radar suddenly stops. He sets Wing down at the remains of the base, at his feet are the remnants that use to be Deathscythe. All he can do is look at the scraps of what use to be his lover's Gundam.  
  
/I made a mistake and he paid for it...I made a MISTAKE!/  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
C&C- Please email me or review the story. I don't know what to think with this one.  
  
  



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